I once feared social gatherings without alcohol, worried that my true self—a cautious, socially awkward introvert—would be revealed, rather than the fearless, life-of-the-party extrovert I presented after a few drinks.
Over nearly six years of sobriety, I’ve discovered my authentic self, finding a balance between these two extremes. I’m often a quiet, thoughtful observer, preferring deep conversations over small talk. I’m learning to acknowledge and release my fears with love, compassion, and acceptance. While I may no longer be the life of the party, I now enjoy life even more after the party ends.
I’ve developed a new appreciation for cozy gatherings and cherished family traditions, brought to life by the love shared among friends and family. I now embrace my quieter (albeit sometimes rather dull) interests and hobbies, while also seeking new adventures and discovering hidden aspects of myself.
For me, ‘Mocktails’ represents this journey: coming together as a community to explore, to share experiences while being fully present with ourselves and each other. It’s about observing how our nervous systems respond to diverse activities and people, celebrating the discovery of new interests and connections that support us on our paths.
A few years ago, I hiked with a local naturalist as the autumn leaves changed. The forest was ablaze with reds, browns, purples, oranges, and yellows. She explained that in fall, trees stop producing chlorophyll due to less sunlight and colder temperatures. This breakdown unmasks the underlying yellow and orange carotenoid pigments already present in the leaves. In essence, the colors we see in autumn are the trees’ ‘true’ colors—unmasked, revealed as they truly are. This beautiful metaphor reminds us that nature, a gift from God, allows us to see our very essence, encouraging us to let our true colors show as we explore life without the mask of alcohol.
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